In response to the hurdles they encounter within public spaces in Nigeria, women have created their own safe spaces. Female-only communities are not new in Nigeria. Different Nigerian ethnic groups incorporate women-only gatherings where they discuss women’s issues, empowerment initiatives, and communal development. However, most of them admit only married women. For instance, in Igbo culture, the annual August Meetings are attended by married women in their husbands’ hometowns.

In 2019, feminists, Dami Odufuwa and Odun Eweniyi co-founded Wine and Whine NG, a women-only community that meets in person to ‘discuss women’s issues and fight patriarchy.’ Wine and Whine created a safe space for like-minded women to express their displeasure with misogyny and brainstorm what they could do to change gender biases and disparities in society and professional places.

In a 2019 interview with News Central TV, Odufuwa said, ‘A lot of women need support groups, a safe space to meet other women like themselves and know they are not losing their minds, they are not crazy, that there is a problem and then find solutions to it.’

At its heart, the nonprofit organization was about uplifting women, and making them understand how much they matter. It hosted several events for Gen Z and millennial women, including panel discussions, empowerment programmes, and mini parties, held in person and on webinars. Although Wine and Whine is now on hiatus, its co-founders have gone on to become founding members of the Feminist Coalition, a non-profit organization that was instrumental to the #EndSARS protest in 2020.

In 2022, youth-focused media platform Zikoko, created HERtitude, a women-focused festival, much to the delight of women who need a place to exist and be themselves without societal expectations or anxiety. Egbordi, who has attended HERtitude three years in a row, confesses that it is fast becoming the highlight of her year. According to Ruth Zakari, Zikoko’s editor-in-chief, the event is a product of brainstorming sessions with columnists on HER, a women-centric category on the website and the desire to create something for the community of women they have access to. Zakari said: ‘We didn’t want to come from a place of trauma, as most women’s events are wont to do, we wanted a space where women could just be. It is a community for women to actually have fun without concern about the male gaze.’

Similarly, Ayomide Dokunmu, the chief executive officer of Femme Africa, created Femme Fest Africa, an annual music festival with all-female music acts. Femme Fest had its first edition in 2021, to give female artists and music professionals a platform to perform without being sidelined by their male counterparts or experiencing gender bias. According to Toluwaleke Subair, Femme Africa’s programme manager, the festival is an annual celebration of women, centring on empowerment, education and entertainment. Its main focus is giving women access to a bigger audience. She said:

We are giving them a bigger platform to connect to their audience and we have never segregated the audience to just women, it is for everyone. Tems first performed ‘Looku Looku’ at Femme Fest, and it was also where Ayra Starr first sang ‘Bloody Samaritan’. Some of the DJs from our Sound Lab had their first set on the Femme Fest stage. We want everyone, women and men, to take in this music, so [Femme Fest] is open to everyone who keeps it cute and respectful.

While this is a necessary provision for gender-inclusive events, several women have shared their discontent with what they claim is a misalignment of intentions. These divergent opinions were at the core of a recent debate on X about Femme Fest’s third edition in 2024. A few days after the event, several women shared their grievances on Twitter, complaining that the festival quickly became uncomfortable when they saw men in attendance. According to them, the feminine colours of the banners and the word ‘femme’ inferred that the event was for only women, prompting them to attend for the first time. However, those who have attended previous editions of Femme Fest stated that men have always been welcome at the festival. Nevertheless, some women believed the festival’s marketing team should have been honest about exactly who could attend, others stated that amplifying female artists and women-owned businesses was more important to the community’s collective goals than who organizers sold tickets to.

Dokunmu addressed the controversy in a tweet, stating, ‘Femme Africa was created to amplify and platform the amazing work women are doing, especially in the music industry. It’s why since inception Femme Fest has been open to all.’

But many women disagree. They insist that they want communities that are not just predominantly women but created exclusively for women. ‘I want women-only spaces because I don’t have to be switched on,’ Egbordi said, ‘I don’t have to be on guard when I’m with other women, even if they’re strangers. We’re not allowed to be free and that is why women-only spaces are important.’

Egbordi describes herself as self-contained, with indoor hobbies making it hard to connect with people, especially when she feels she has to perform to a crowd. Surprisingly, she was one of the women who danced on stage in this year’s edition, to the cheers of other women, not minding the cameras or the crowd. Egbordi explains she doesn’t mind being uninhibited at HERtitude because being there activates her right to express herself without fear of retribution. She said:

I don’t know if it is how we are raised, but women, especially Nigerian women, seem to perform for men. But when we are left to our own devices, just us having fun, we are able to let our guard down. We are very happy to attend an event that is non-male centred. Now men know, though they have always known, but now they have confirmation that women don’t need them to have fun. We have never really had fun with them, but now they know that when we dress up it is for ourselves.

Amina Yusuf, a law student at the University of Lagos, agrees with this perspective. For her, a female-centred event is just that, a place that focuses on women in a society that barely pays attention to women’s needs, wants, and ambitions.

Nigerian men often criticize women-only events as being queer-coded, making disparaging comments about their personalities and sense of style. Meanwhile, more women agree that men’s actions and statements are exactly why women need their space without male intrusion.

When Yusuf told her male friends she was going to a female-only festival, they laughed it off while questioning her sexual orientation. ‘Men have audacity,’ Yusuf said, ‘Some of my male friends asked how I expected to have fun at a festival for women only unless I had other intentions.’

Needing a break from schoolwork was her only intention. While her friend had attended HERtitude since its inception, this was Yusuf’s first time at the event, and she was pleasantly surprised by how safe it was. ‘Everything was female oriented. It felt very safe. I was not touched unnecessarily, there were no catcalls. It was a man-free zone even from the entrance. I have never experienced that before,’ she said.