Nigerian novelist and author of Dele Weds Destiny, Tomi Obaro, says her debut novel was loosely inspired by her mother’s relationship with her best friends: ‘They haven’t lived in the same country for over thirty years but have remained close. My mother, sister, and I visited one of those friends in Europe and we were looking through old photographs and I remember thinking, there’s a story here!’
First Draft is our interview column, featuring authors and other prominent figures on books, reading, and writing.
Our questions are italicized.
What books or kinds of books did you read growing up?
Growing up, I read whatever books I had access to, which tended to be works by dead white authors—such as Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, Emily Brontë’s Wuthering Heights, the Anne of Green Gables series, numerous works by Charles Dickens, and F. Scott Fitzgerald’s novels. I was a very obnoxious adolescent with tons of literary pretensions, so I usually only wanted to read what was considered part of the Western canon. As I got older, thankfully my tastes began to broaden, and I began to read and appreciate writers like Nella Larsen, Arundhati Roy, Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Chinua Achebe. But obviously this is a very truncated list!
What is your writing process: edit as you write or draft first, then edit?
I think for first drafts it’s ideal if you write first and then edit, which is easier said than done for me. I’ve found that editing so early on is often just a form of procrastination, a way of futzing with the text endlessly so I don’t have to do the hard work of figuring out what comes next.
What was your process for writing your debut novel, Dele Weds Destiny?
I started writing it in August 2019 and finished in the spring of 2020. I wrote whenever I could—in the mornings before work, on the train, waiting in line. When the pandemic hit, I was so overwhelmed by the news, that when I wasn’t working, I would write, and it was that final burst of energy that allowed me to finish the draft.
I was a very obnoxious adolescent with tons of literary pretensions, so I usually only wanted to read what was considered part of the Western canon.
Dele Weds Destiny explores the lifetime friendship between three women across three decades. What inspired this story?
The novel is loosely inspired by the relationship my mother has with her two best friends. They haven’t lived in the same country for over thirty years but have remained close. My mother, sister, and I visited one of those friends in Europe and we were looking through old photographs and I remember thinking, there’s a story here!
And what’s one thing about the reactions to the novel that surprised you?
I was pleasantly surprised by Nigerian readers who reached out to me. As a Nigerian living in the diaspora with all the weird complexes such a position provokes, having Nigerian readers who live in Nigeria reach out and talk about what resonated in the book for them meant the world to me.
What books did you read while you were working on Dele Weds Destiny?
I read all sorts of books while I wrote, but I tended to seek out domestic fiction by African writers. I read Second Class Citizen, The Slave Girl and The Joys of Motherhood by Buchi Emecheta. I also read So Long a Letter by Mariama Bâ and to get a sense of what life is like in Northern Nigeria, I read Season of Crimson Blossoms by Abubakar Adam Ibrahim.
What books would you say are in conversation with Dele Weds Destiny?
Some books that come to mind are The Interestings by Meg Wolitzer, Patsy by Nicole Dennis-Benn, Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, but really, that’s up to the reader to decide!
What is the most meaningful piece of writing advice you’ve ever received?
If you want to write a book, write it. You don’t need anyone’s permission.
What’s the best book you’ve read about mother-daughter relationships?
I don’t rank books so rigidly like that, but a novel that comes to mind when I think about mother-daughter relationships is Paula Fox’s The Widow’s Children, which is a fascinating, chilling portrayal of a mother who clearly didn’t want to have children, and whose children are aware of her lack of interest. Another novel that comes to mind is Nicole Denis-Benn’s Here Comes the Sun; the mother and daughter in that book have a very contentious relationship. And then of course there’s the mother of all mother-daughter relationship books, Toni Morrison’s Beloved. I’m definitely drawn to more ambivalent portrayals of that relationship.
What book or text are you looking forward to reading in 2024?
So many. I’m excited to read new works by Maggie Nelson, Kaveh Akbar, and Akwaeke Emezi among others.
I think writers are never truly satisfied with their work and there’s always a phantom, perfect version of their book that exists in an alternate timeline.
And what’s a writing goal you have for the new year? Are there specific genres or styles you want to explore in your writing in 2024?
My writing goal is extremely simple: to finish my book.
Question from Kemi Alabi: How do you know a work is complete?
I don’t think you ever really know for sure when something is done. Chinua Achebe rewrote parts of Arrow of God years after the book first came out. Louise Erdrich famously revises her published novels as well. I think writers are never truly satisfied with their work and there’s always a phantom, perfect version of their book that exists in an alternate timeline. So much of writing, I’ve found, is making peace with imperfection.
Bonus: Please suggest a question for a future author’s First Draft
When do you know when a piece just isn’t working?⎈
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